Today is my Birthday

Today is my Birthday.

This should be a happy day, a joyous celebration of life. But all that I see in my feed is more death, more hate, and more pain. “There is also love in the world,” I tell people, but today I am losing faith. Greed, lust for control (I consciously avoid the use of the word power here, for power is a tool to be used), and hate is everywhere. I feel my brain trying to shut down as I try to articulate the evils I see, and the general indifference we have to those evils.

Are there those that are so small they must try to tear down others every chance they get? Let them live their lives as they see fit, as long as they are not taking away your freedoms. Or at least just let them live. I am so full of pain it is difficult to think, difficult to care, difficult to push forward with the simplest of tasks. Murder, beatings, rapes, starvation, houselessness, torments uncounted and unknown all pound against and past the barriers I have erected to protect myself from the full brunt of the ugliness this world has.

Ah, but the ugliness is not in the world–it is in us. Do we say “ugliness in the world” because we do not want to admit it is us? That it is the human race? “The world” is so ambiguous and large that it does not narrow down the culprits responsible for the evils and ugliness.

How can I effect change when I am emotionally huddled in a corner, overwhelmed by what I see? I know this feeling will pass, but should it? I should hold onto the outrage and anger so that I am impassioned to fight for a place where humans are better creatures. I should remember the pain but not let it paralyze me into inaction.

Today is my Birthday.
Happy Birthday to me. 

PS: Don’t worry, I am OK.  🙂  Spend your energies on combating hate and pain.